Thursday, November 29, 2012

Don’t Be a BabyMuva






These days, being a single mother is as normal as the street getting wet when it rains.  Unfortunately it’s also normal for women to behave like a “Babymuva”.  For those of you that are unaware let me enlighten you. A “Babymuva”...simply put…is usually an angry woman that can’t get over the fact that she and the father of her child aren't together.  She is usually jealous and bitter about any and everything he does.  She makes a scene at every given opportunity and tells the entire world that he is NO GOOD despite what he does or doesn't do for his children.  She will usually demand that any time he spends with his child involves her, money and/or sex, and when he refuses, she goes on a tirade about how he doesn't do anything for his children.  Then you have the ones that KEEP a man (other than the father of her child) and have that child call every man she is with “daddy” or “uncle”.  She gets child support, and spends it on hair, nails, and shoes and tells everyone “he only gives me $XXX.XX” every two weeks WTF am I supposed to do with that”.  Some babymuvas will tell you over and over that they left him.  That they are not together because she doesn't want to be with him and she is usually fine with not being with her child(rens) father, UNTIL HE GETS A GIRLFRIEND.  That is when the random any time of day calls start because she thinks she is entitled to call whenever she wants because she has his baby.  The girlfriend is immediately a bitch, she is immediately ugly, and he IMMEDIATELY can’t see his children.  She makes pick-ups and drop offs impossible and everything is an argument. 

The best way to avoid this ladies; Always Be Prepared!!!

Just like if you are going to move into a new apartment or a house, you will not sign a lease for an apartment you can’t afford ALONE; even if you have a Significant Other.  Despite you and a man being together before and after conception, make sure that you are willing to raise your child alone if you have to.  That doesn't mean that you throw in his face during every argument “I don’t need you”.  It just means that you will not be devastated and use your child to get back at him if the relationship doesn't work.  No matter what you do, you cannot change your child’s DNA and NOTHING you do will change the fact that you have a child from this man.  It IS hard, and you usually DON’T get a break.  However, if you keep the peace with him he will come and get his kids, even if it’s for a few hours.  Do you know what you can DO in a few hours by yourself?  How about you start with an uninterrupted shower!

Even if he is a tool and does NOTHING for your kids, your being nasty to him is NOT going to make him be a better father.  All it does is cause you stress give you wrinkles and make the situation worse than it already is.  It is a waste of energy.  Just because you have his child does NOT mean he is going to be with YOU forever.  Take all of that anger and go to the gym, run, work that baby weight off if you still have it.  Focus on YOU.  Focus on being a great mother.  Focus on building a support system so that you don’t NEED him. Thank him for your blessing and his DNA and move on.  Don’t waste a bunch of time trying to keep someone that doesn't want to be kept.  If he did, you would be together.

Don’t be a BabyMuva.

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